This word affirms something uncertain. Something you fervently hoped for or something you dread not to be sure of. For the past week, I have been slapped with two consecutive positive result of what could I have wished otherwise yet regret is too much a word. Things are getting vague and options are now becoming limited. There is only one decision to make and a whole lot of work and insistence to assume and to carry on still. I am one step closer to something new. Something familiar but still indeterminately reserved. It would only take less than a year before this decision becomes a fulfillment. And certainly fates responsibilities to be pulled through constantly like the sun that is never tired to rise and set each day.
Overwhelming anxiety and gladness coerce within me and in contest which to submerge. I have observed that I follow an ambivalent approach in turning a new and different leaf where I am looking forward to contentment and gratification. I admit that what is bound to happen is a lifetime course of learning, of novel experiences, faithfulness and compromise.
Acceptance is what I am learning now
Stability is my only prayer.
Or else. Comfort bed will always be pegged in debt.
And I would live life IN ARREARS.
Not.
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